All in all, we had fun on our not-a-date.
5 minute read
December 31, 2004, 2:08 AM
After work today, my friend Katie and I went up to Harrisonburg to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. I’d been there lots of times before with other people, but this was Katie’s first time at “BW-3’s” or “B-Dubs”, as it’s been called at times.
This whole outing was what we called our not-a-date, after a number of coworkers, three in particular (and you know who you are), kept commenting about how cute a couple we were and how it was so cute we were going on a “date”. For the record, Katie and I are not dating, nor do we ever intend to “date”. We are just friends. Strictly platonic. But that of course doesn’t mean we don’t have fun.
And to back up the fact that this wasn’t a date, we had also originally intended to have some others come with us. We were to have my sister come along, and also Teri from candy. Teri ended up having to cancel, and then Sis got sick and ended up having to leave work early.
At Buffalo Wild Wings, we ordered the boneless wings, and an order of mozzarella sticks. Why boneless? Bones are a bother to eat around, and make it quite messy. We had four of the twelve signature sauces on our wings. We had “Sweet BBQ”, “Mild”, “Spicy Garlic”, and “Caribbean Jerk”. So we had a third of the flavors. Still mighty good, though. Caribbean Jerk is about the upper limit of my tolerance of spicy sauces. That stuff is spicy. I’ve had the top of the scale, “Blazin”, before, and that’s just… whoo boy. I dipped a few wings in that when I went there on New Year’s Day 2002 with friends from Telegate. That sauce is potent, let me tell you. At first, it was like, this isn’t too bad, but then all of a sudden it hits you. Flames were shooting out of my mouth on that one, let me tell you.
But anyway, back to our not-a-date.
It just so happened that it was karaoke night at B-Dubs. So Katie and I grabbed a book of songs and went thumbing through to see what we wanted to sing. I decided to sing Drops of Jupiter by Train, which you may recall I dissected in the June 17, 2002 quote on here. Katie sang Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson.
So how did we sound? Terrible. Me, I was all over the place. My voice even cracked a few times. Not a good thing to have happening while trying to sing a song. I also broke into laughter a few times. Then Katie also was quite a bit off, but not nearly as bad as I was. In Katie’s song, the words for Redneck Woman were most amusing, specifically:
Victoria’s Secret, well their stuff’s real nice
But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price
Amusing since we had just come from work, at a Wal-Mart.
A number of the other participants were really good. Others were like Katie and I, and having our fair share of difficulties. All in all, it was fun.
As far as selections, Katie had quickly settled on Redneck Woman. I had picked out several alternatives before settling on Drops of Jupiter. I had considered Macarthur Park, Macarena, Wannabe (yes, the Spice Girls song), and even considered a duet with Katie singing Endless Love. Boy, that last one would have certainly fueled the people determined to have us dating.
Then after Buffalo Wild Wings, we went to the Harrisonburg Wal-Mart because we needed to pick up a few things. Why Harrisonburg Wal-Mart, when we work in the Waynesboro store? Because we don’t work there. Thus I feel like a customer instead of an associate.
On the way to Wal-Mart, we drove through JMU, with it being the most direct way. Plus I wanted to show Katie my old stomping grounds. So from the car, I showed her Wilson Hall, Maury Hall, D-Hall, Warren Hall, the football stadium, Zane Showker Hall (from a distance), the ISAT Building, Potomac Hall, and the Festival, as we drove through campus.
At Wal-Mart, Katie rode on the electric cart, and I walked. Actually, Katie rode on two electric carts. The first cart got to the back of the store, where it pooped out. Dead. So I dragged it off the main aisle (literally dragged it – picked up the front end of it and dragged the rest of it) into a side aisle, and flagged someone. It’s dead. Meanwhile, I’m acting like the hunter as I’m dragging this electric cart by the basket. “I killed it! Now we can take it home and fry it up!” Kind of like a poor, misguided hunter. And I used this weird voice when I talked about killing the cart.
So after Katie tried some shoes on (which she ultimately bought), we went up front to get another electric cart for Katie – hopefully one that worked. While Katie went to the ladies’ room, I retrieved the cart. So did I ride it over and park it next to the restrooms for her? Oh, no… I decided to be Mr. Macho, mainly because it was fun. I was back into “cart killer” mode. Why? It was fun. So I picked up the front of the cart and dragged it.
So when Katie came out of the ladies’ room, I was still pulling it over. So I put it down and continued my silliness. And it turned out that this cart, unlike the other one, had a full charge on it. Which means it went a lot faster. Warning to me: Don’t get run over. Still, we were shopping. Went to Fabrics and Crafts, went to Stationery, and also Pharmacy. All in all… fun. We ended up getting an armful or so of stuff – not too much, but enough.
You know what got me, though? Katie and I may have sounded knowledgeable about Wal-Mart by virtue of the fact that we both work in a Wal-Mart. But someone came up to me asking for information on some shoes, because he thought I worked there. I’m like, “I don’t work here.” I’ve always wanted to say that to a customer. And since this was Harrisonburg and not Waynesboro, I did. That felt good. The customer was apologetic. A second customer, presumably also thinking that I worked there (and my vest and stuff were in Waynesboro where they belong, so what gives?), was asking me to lift some big furniture thing. I kind of flipped there. “I don’t work here! Why does everyone think I work here?” That guy dropped an F-bomb. Katie said I probably overreacted a bit, but the F-word was uncalled for. I agree.
Still, we had a fun evening. This is why I like shopping at other Wal-Marts. Because I don’t work there, I can just be a customer. Can’t do that in Waynesboro, since everyone knows you work there. Katie and I had fun. We even went up to a display full of the animated Boohbah dolls, and set them all off. Imagine a rack full of Boohbah dolls, the ugly little creatures with large turtlenecks, all saying “Booooooooooh-baaaaaaaaaah!” and then making that fart-like sound they make, and then doing that waist-up-dancing thing that they do. And then lastly that little cat-sneeze sound. It’s enough to make anyone scream.
And after that, we went past the Sheetz on University Boulevard, because I needed to get some gas, plus it was too good of a price to pass up. It was $1.37 per gallon. That’s a darn good price, if you ask me. So I gassed up, and while I was fueling, I got a photo of the sign, to prove to you how nice these prices were:
And this is while prices in Stuarts Draft are a bit higher.
And then from there, we went on back, and I dropped Katie off at her house before going home myself. Fun!
Big surprise of the night: Steele House is gone! JMU demolished it in anticipation of the new Fine Arts Center they’re building across South Main Street from the Quad, and so if you can imagine this, for now, there’s a parking lot next to Canterbury, where I had LPCM. I’m just like, “Where’s Steele House?” Made finding the entrance to the JMU lot a little more challenging, since my landmark for finding it was gone.
Web site: Lyrics to Redneck Woman, which Katie sang.
Song: Drops of Jupiter and Redneck Woman
Quote: "I killed it!" - Me dragging the electric cart, acting all silly about it.