As we have for a number of years, Sis and I went looking at lights…
2 minute read
December 24, 2005, 10:44 PM
Yes, Sis and I went looking at Christmas lights once again this year, on Christmas Eve as always, and one word comes to mind for this year’s displays: lackluster.
Christmas 2005 will definitely go down as a blah year for outdoor lighting displays. Far fewer houses decorated at all this year than usual, both in our neighborhood and elsewhere. And a lot of others scaled their displays back significantly.
First of all, though, Sis and I went looking for a set of decorations that used to reside in our neighborhood. I received a lead from a coworker on where this particular family had moved, and we followed the leads. This particular house, by the way, was just awful-looking in its decor. When they were in our neighborhood, these people had Santa, a nativity scene, large wooden snowmen with the family members’ names on them, winter-themed Disney characters, VeggieTales, and certainly much more than I’m remembering at this point. And it was all lit by large, garish white lights. So you could see this display a long way away.
Continue reading…The Christmas season, for my purposes, is at last over.
2 minute read
December 24, 2005, 5:52 PM
It is Christmas Eve, and I have officially finished for the day at work, which I did at 4 PM. That means that for me, Christmas is over. Opening the presents tomorrow morning is nothing compared to dealing with a bunch of cranky Christmas shoppers.
Meanwhile, there’s nothing like working retail to suck the Christmas spirit right out of a person. The phrase “Merry Friggin’ Christmas” comes to mind. And if that offends your sensibilities, then “Happy Friggin’ Holidays” to you.
And in the break room, we cozied up to reading the children’s letters to Santa Claus that were published in The News Leader today. I tell you… that was high entertainment. The letters were printed verbatim, complete with original spelling and punctuation errors, so Sis and I had fun reading them literally. As both of us enjoy Strong Bad Emails, we have no qualms over making fun of someone’s punctuation and spelling. Still, the letters ran the usual course. Children asked for a long list of very expensive toys, and so there will be some very disappointed little children tomorrow morning, when they didn’t get the three different game consoles they asked for. Same for the kid who asked for a horse and two frogs. Then for one kid, the term “oversharing” came to mind, as he said how he was a big boy who poops in the potty. All of us were thinking that this was too much, and the phrase “I did not need to know that!” came to mind regarding his restroom practices. Of course, there was a fully grown adult male who recently told me in the checkout line, in front of his wife, no less, that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. The wife and I were both telling him, “Oversharing!” Then there were some nearly-illegible Emails, where we couldn’t make out the writer’s intent regarding the words, and where the sentences were far from complete.
Categories: Advertising, Christmas, Homestar Runner, Walmart
Hah! What did I tell you?
< 1 minute read
December 12, 2005, 10:43 PM
This confirms what I’d discussed in 2003 about Santa Claus. Look:
That proves it – Santa Claus is a sick, perverted wanker. And he’s got that food thing going on, too, like George Costanza did on that one episode of Seinfeld.
Categories: Christmas
Another Santa picture…
< 1 minute read
December 11, 2005, 8:07 PM
Categories: Christmas
Tomorrow is the big day…
2 minute read
November 24, 2005, 8:38 PM
Tomorrow at 4:30 in the morning, I must be at work for what is often called “Black Friday”, which is one of the biggest shopping days of the year.
This will be the first time I will have actually worked right in the thick of Wal-Mart’s big after-Thanksgiving sale. The past two years, I worked later shifts, after the majority of the pandemonium had passed. This year, I am there. And tomorrow, I will be dressed in all black from the top of my mock-turtleneck all the way down to my Chucks. I’ve also tried to get coworkers to do likewise. After all, what can I say? Black is the new black.
Otherwise, though, Thanksgiving went well. I had to work, and then had Thanksgiving dinner with the family.
Meanwhile, I’m still enjoying the heat in the car. Never again will I take having heat in one’s automobile for granted. Never.
Categories: Thanksgiving, Toyota Previa, Walmart
Happy Halloween!
2 minute read
October 31, 2005, 6:41 PM
What a fun Halloween I had! I spent it where I’ve spent every single Monday for a very long time – work. However, they let us dress up for Halloween, and I had a real blast, too.
This year, I dressed up as The Thnikkaman, which is a variation of Bubs, who runs Bubs’ Concession Stand. All in all, it comes from homestarrunner.com. I love the site, and Thnikkaman was easy to do, too.
All I did was wear an orange “Athletic Works” shirt, my usual black jeans and chucks, and then accessorized it all. I bought some green felt and safety-pinned that around my waist. That made that strange green section on Bubs’s outfit. Then to go from just plain old Bubs to The Thnikkaman, I borrowed a pair of sunglasses from my sister that resembled the ones that The Thnikkaman wore in Strong Bad Email #97. Then to finish the outfit, I printed a red “TH” on paper and pinned that to my shirt. And thus we have Thnikkaman. Check out my costume:
Categories: Halloween, Homestar Runner
I really need to do something about getting a N-E-W C-A-R…
2 minute read
October 30, 2005, 8:30 PM
Yes, we’re spelling it out. You see, every time I talk about the C-A-R on here, I have some sort of mishap with the Previa. But let me tell you, though… that car is a trooper, but parts are starting to go. The radio went in 2000. The air conditioning died in 2002. At some point, a panel on the interior of the door broke loose. The cruise control started a slow death in 2002 or so and now only works when it feels like it. I also recently got a crack in the windshield. And as you saw not long ago, I had to do a quick-fix on a wiper blade (which still works like a charm).
And now, I have no heat. Absolutely NO heat. Last time I got heat out of the car was on April 16 of this year, when Sis and I went up to Washington DC for A16, and needed heat (and didn’t get heat until halfway up there because we accidentally forgot to switch it over to heat). Then the warmer months came along and I didn’t need the heat. Now it’s cold again, and I have no heat at all. I really need a new car, but since I can’t afford that, I’m going to have to get it repaired. And that means that I’m going to have to call around to find out who will be willing to look at it and such to get it fixed.
And my rule about going to local businesses is that I don’t like going some place where everyone who works there is someone I went to high school with. I don’t like getting called “buddy” by people I never particularly cared for. I prefer to go some place where the people don’t all know me – makes me feel more like a customer.
Categories: Halloween, New car, Power Rangers, Toyota Previa
“I’m just an alley cat, with an alley life…”
2 minute read
September 16, 2005, 11:47 PM
My birthday: It sucked.
3 minute read
May 31, 2005, 5:02 PM
May 30, my 24th birthday, was awful. I wanted no attention, and had decided not to request the day off so I could forget about my birthday by just doing the work thing.
That didn’t quite work out. Everyone and their mother knew it was my birthday yesterday, and no one would leave me alone. Everyone meant well, don’t get me wrong, but I wanted nothing more than to not hear about it. Still, there were no less than FOUR announcements made on the squawk box – one after I specifically told the person to their face not to make the announcement. Then there was a small group of coworkers that came up behind me and started clapping and singing “Happy Birthday”. I ran the other direction.
It was enough to just want to curl up and die. And so many people didn’t understand why I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday this year. I even mentioned how I vetoed a cake and a card this year. No cake. No card. That’s how you know I’m serious, when I specifically said I didn’t want a cake or even a birthday card.
Couple the relentless (but well-intentioned) unwanted attention with the fact that I hadn’t quite had enough sleep the night before, and I was completely miserable on my birthday. I even got a form letter from the CEO of Wal-Mart’s stores division wishing me a happy birthday. With a misspelling in it, no less. They obviously went to the Dan Quayle school of spelling, as I was wished a “greate” year instead of a “great” year. How professional.
I am trying to make my birthday a non-event this year…
2 minute read
May 28, 2005, 11:00 PM
I am SO trying to make my birthday, May 30, a non-event this year. For some reason I just don’t want to be reminded that it’s coming up, and want it to pass without notice.
And I certainly don’t want it announced over the loudspeaker at work, going so far to say that, while admitting that it is coming up soon, it is on an “undisclosed date”.
I have also told the family in the last day or so that I want NO birthday cake, and NO card. I don’t know what it is, but I just don’t particularly want to celebrate my birthday this year. Last year, it was a bit of a non-event, too. That time, instead of saying no cake, I said no chocolate cake, and if I found a chocolate cake, was fully prepared to launch it into the backyard, icing first. It ended up being a red velvet cake, which was satisfactory.
A week of mornings!
2 minute read
March 29, 2005, 3:39 AM
I don’t understand that one. I’m working mostly mornings this week. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Friday – all mornings. Usually I’m on evenings.
And then on Wednesday I’m going to Washington DC. In the morning. And of course, I’ll be there until late at night. Seriously, I usually hit the Orange Line at Vienna right around 10:00 in the morning, after the all-day passes become valid, and the guaranteed parking spaces become available. Then I don’t leave Vienna in the evening until just beyond 12:00. I do cut it close in the evenings, but I’ve never ridden on the last train of the night. Closest I’ve come is second-to-last, and another time the train I had just gotten off of at Vienna was going to be the last train of the night to New Carrollton. The last trains of the night all meet at Metro Center and Gallery Place-Chinatown depending on color before proceeding to the terminals.
Meanwhile, I am going down to Blacksburg on April 14 to pick Sis up. I figure that since it’s my event that we’re going to, after all (A16), I might as well do the Virginia Tech run at least one of the two runs. So I’m doing the pick-up run. I’m going to let a parent do the drop-off run, since I’m going to be all driven out after A16. You drive 150 miles each way the day before and see how much you want to drive another 100 miles in each direction the next day. At least the drive to Washington has a big urban area at one end of it, and requires busting a move in changing between I-81 and I-66. The Virginia Tech run is just a straight shot through the most boring part of I-81.
Otherwise, I need to come up with a good April Fool’s joke for use at work. I don’t know what I want to do yet, but I want it to be good. On the topic of good April Fool’s jokes, I’m still quite proud of my 2002 joke, which I ran in the quote space. I even X-ed out the logo for that week and changed the circle-pic. It was so much fun.
Categories: DC trips, Holidays, Schumin Web meta
Happy Singles Awareness Day
2 minute read
February 14, 2005, 10:23 PM
Today was a day that I could have easily pulled my hair out. Today was Singles Awareness Day, more commonly known as “Valentine’s Day”. And I could have pulled my hair out not only because this is the holiday for lovers – and with me being totally single.
First of all, about being single – I don’t mind it. See, I saved money by not having to buy any of the Valentine’s crap we’ve been selling. The only thing I bought was a heart-shaped box of chocolates for the box design. For ME. I thought it was cute because it says “Choo Choo Choose Me” and there’s a picture of a train. I bought it because it reminds me of the classic Simpsons episode where Lisa Simpson gives Ralph Wiggum a Valentine that says, “I choo choo choose you”.
Now, about today. I was ready to pull my hair out because it seemed that everyone and their mother was buying flowers and cards for their significant others. And flowers don’t like to scan. Seriously, they don’t. I was surprised when I could get a flower to scan. This is when we wish flowers were sold a different way, like by weight or something like produce. Just toss ’em on the scale and put in a number and voila – flowers.
AP: “Punxsutawney Phil has spoken, and the news isn’t good.”
< 1 minute read
February 2, 2005, 10:40 AM
Well, it seems that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. And that means six more weeks of winter.
To that I say, six more weeks of winter? We haven’t even had six weeks of winter to begin with! Forget six more weeks. You see, January was unseasonably warm here, and so for a period of several weeks, we were having sixty-degree weather. And it was January. Now it’s finally gotten a bit more like winter, with our getting snow two weekends in a row.
Still, I’d like to really see a snowfall that will cause several inches to cover my car, requiring me to really use the brush on the end of my scraper. Or perhaps give it one good blast with my windshield wiper.
So we’ll see what the rest of winter brings. The groundhog saw his shadow. Good. Maybe we’ll get that snowfall I’ve been hoping for.
Categories: Holidays
Happy New Year!
3 minute read
January 1, 2005, 1:24 AM
And so now let’s all sing a round of Auld Lang Syne.
And this is the first entry of 2005, after I rolled the Journal into the next database. If this posts when I submit my form, then I was successful.
I have to say, I noticed a few things about the new year’s arrival. On the TV, we again noticed the glasses with the year on it. I just wonder if they’ll continue it come 2010. Then, you see, there will be no number with a big open middle on one eye for at least ten years (you could pull it off in 2020, since the “2” is sufficiently open). But a “1” is kind of poor for that kind of thing. I wonder.
Otherwise, I’m still up, which is amazing in itself. I fully expected to be fast asleep before midnight, considering how long I was slightly droopy at Wal-Mart at the beginning of my shift. But I ended up hitting a second wind or something, I guess.
Categories: DC trips, New Year's
New Year’s Eve…
2 minute read
December 31, 2004, 9:56 PM
As I write this, it’s less than 30 minutes until 2005 arrives. And people were ready at Wal-Mart. Practically every customer the entire bloody day bought all sorts of alcohol, usually multiple items. Beer, wine, you name it. Virginia has state-operated liquor stores, so we don’t sell liquor at Wal-Mart – just beer and wine, and other stuff that falls into those two categories, like that malt liquor stuff.
And it was hopping at Wally World. Lines all day. People want to get loaded full of food and alcohol, and they bought it in large quantities. Whee!
Meanwhile, the Deli got some new mashed potatoes and gravy. I think that’s going to be a hit, particularly with the associates. I had some of it with my lunch. Good stuff indeed.
Categories: New Year's, Schumin Web meta, Walmart