“Let me say my magic word.”
2 minute read
November 14, 2004, 4:23 PM
Does anyone here remember the 1980s British cartoon series SuperTed? I so love those old cartoons. For those of you who don’t remember:
This is a story about an ordinary teddy bear.
When he was made, they found something wrong with him,
And threw him away, like a piece of rubbish, into an old, dark storeroom.
Then, from outer space, a spotty man brought him to life, with his cosmic dust.
He took him to a magic cloud, where Mother Nature gave him special powers.
That bear became… SuperTed!
Continue reading…Categories: Television
I voted… did you?
3 minute read
November 2, 2004, 3:44 PM
After work, I went over to Stuarts Draft Rescue Squad, and voted. And as a result, I got this:
As you probably expected, I voted for John Kerry for President.
Categories: National politics, Television
Every so often I go visit…
< 1 minute read
October 26, 2004, 9:54 AM
You know where to go if you need to get some serious laughing? Homestarrunner.com, of course. I looked at Strong Bad’s three most recent Emails – The Facts, Time Capsule, and Extra Plug.
“The Facts” is about why Strong Mad should not have a cartoon of his own. “Time Capsule” is where Strong Bad sets up a time capsule with a cassette tape and dry ice in it (the dry ice so it will go “froosh” when someone opens it), which Stinko Man from 20X6 (pronounced “twenty-extee-six”) then proceeds to eat. That one also has a song about Grumblecakes as an easter egg.
The one that really had me laughing, though, was “Extra Plug”. Strong Bad was asked what he could use the extra plug under his desk for. Turns out he had bought some light-up shoes, which he believed could attract women to him solely on the basis of his shoes. He managed to flip a breaker, since the power went out. Seems those things really do suck up the juice. They’re also really loud. They finished the Email, however, in an unusual way. And they ended up also sucking up all the juice at Club Technochocolate. They ended up powering the shoes from the King of Town’s place. Fun.
Now what I’m going to have stuck in my head all day is that Grumblecakes song. It’s definitely an interesting song, being quite catchy. And my dirty, filthy, sordid little mind has read two interpretations into to that song.
World’s worst pickup line: “Hey, baby, want to share those Grumblecakes?”
Categories: Homestar Runner
So do you like my signage?
2 minute read
October 25, 2004, 3:00 PM
To drive home the importance of the upcoming election, I actually took my picture off of the main page, in favor of a photo from The Schumin Web Salutes America embellished with red, white, and blue striping and “VOTE NOVEMBER 2” in large letters. Just my not-so-subtle way of getting out the vote. And nonpartisan, too. I’m just saying VOTE in that area. Here in the Journal, however, I’ll tell you that I’m voting for John Kerry and that you should too.
Meanwhile, we can tell what Darby Conley’s feelings are about the election, as well as who to vote for. For those of you who don’t know, Darby Conley is the one who does the syndicated comic strip Get Fuzzy, which I read in the Staunton paper. It’s a very amusing comic strip, with Satchel the dog and Rob the human both being bossed around by Bucky the cat, the cat with that one big fang.
So why do I mention this? Look at today’s strip:
Categories: Comics, National politics
Good morning, world!
2 minute read
October 17, 2004, 2:06 AM
Yeah, fan-bloody-tastic. It’s early. Just the right time to bust a move to Washington DC, too.
As soon as I finish this journal entry, I’m hopping into the shower to make myself all fresh as a daisy. Then I’m getting dressed, getting gathered up, and then… I’m going out!
It kind of reminds me of what Jeff Hyslop sang in Today’s Special’s episode “Live on Stage” about going out. It went like this:
Categories: DC trips, Today's Special
Let me show you. This is Trogdor.
2 minute read
September 24, 2004, 4:20 PM
My sister is home for the weekend! What a surprise! I wasn’t expecting her to come home until some time in October. So that was neat. Her boyfriend Chris brought her home to us. And as a result, I finally got to meet Chris. We have to take her back to Tech, though. Chris should chip in the $20 or so in gas. But you know how poor college students are. So we’ll forgive him for it, since he brought us a pleasant surprise.
So why Trogdor in the title? Well, Sis and Dad and I were all talking about something, and how Dad pulled up something on Urban Dictionary to back up an expression that he used. I chimed in how I added a few definitions there myself. My sister said how she found a thousand definitions for “Trogdor” on there.
My father had no idea who Trogdor was. I know who Trogdor is. I showed him, doing up a quick doodle.
Categories: Family, Homestar Runner
And for you doubters, I can sing, though how well is left to the opinion of innocent bystanders…
2 minute read
September 20, 2004, 1:58 AM
This is my third journal entry in the same evening! I must have a lot to talk about.
Anyway, though, in the Garden Center at work, which is rapidly going from garden stuff to Christmas stuff, there is a small display in the center of the open space. There are four mechanical dancing Santas. For the most part. One is Santa Claus himself. One is a bear in a Santa suit. One is the Grinch in a Santa suit. And the last one is a snowman. These things are about a head shorter than me, and swing their hips, move their arms, turn their heads, and the Santa and the snowman move their mouths. They sing canned songs, but then they also have a jack for a microphone on them, where you can sing into the mic, which causes the heads to turn and the mouth to move.
After clocking out at work, I headed over to the Garden Center to check it out, and discovered the display, and noticed that it was plugged in, and a microphone was sitting there.
See where this is going?
Categories: Today's Special, Walmart
“Too big! Too small!”
< 1 minute read
September 16, 2004, 11:15 PM
I saw a commercial for Wilkins Shoe Center on CNN this evening, and it starts out with someone trying on shoes, appropriately enough.
They say, “Too large!” showing someone with a shoe that is obviously too large on their foot. Then they show one saying, “Too small!” with someone with their foot halfway in an obviously-too-small shoe. Then the announcer says, “Just right!” and shoes a person with a properly fitting shoe.
It reminds me of something I saw on Today’s Special’s “Shoes” episode. It was a scene with Jodie walking past a row of shoes, essentially gesturing with her feet at each one, before putting the last pair on. It goes like this:
Too big!
Too small!
Not right… at all! (These shoes were flippers)
Too loose!
Oh, too tight!
Ahhh… these feel just right! (Puts these shoes on)
Thus every time I see the commercial, I expect after “Too small!” to hear “Not right… at all!” Interesting, indeed.
Categories: Today's Special
With all the rain we’ve been having…
4 minute read
September 9, 2004, 2:06 AM
I’m going to Washington DC today, and it’s probably going to be a soggy day, based on the looks of things.
Doesn’t bother me. Means I’ll get to see a lot of Mode 2 operation (Mode 2 is manual with speed protection).
Mom was concerned about all the rain. So I cited that strange dream I had back in February (according to this journal, February 19, entitled “Your assignment: Figure out where this dream came from”). It’s the one where I went Metro kayaking. I still think that’s one darn strange dream, and if I recall, at the time the people on SubTalk thought it was off-the-wall, too. And in that dream, if I recall, paddling a Breda down the water was for the less-experienced while rafting with a Rohr was the more challenging.
What’s odd, though, is how much that matches the actual trains. According to a few train operators I’ve spoken with, the Rohrs have some really weird quirks that make them more challenging to operate. Bredas are much less quirky.
Ah, well.
Categories: Television, Walmart, WMATA
“I don’t want to feel like a fish with no water!”
2 minute read
August 26, 2004, 8:04 AM
At work yesterday, we were actually discussing those public service ads that run on cable TV. Like the one where the fish tank slowly loses water talking about asthma, or the one where the guy walks into the store to buy a wallet and he gets a really tiny wallet for the really tiny money he’ll be making as a high school dropout.
And then there’s one ad that, among the people in our group, that kind of creeped us all out a little bit:
Nobody likes me. Nobody. Maybe it’s because I like to attack people. Men. Women. Kids. I can leave them as stammering, confused, scared imitations of their former selves. If they don’t stop me, I just might leave them that way for life. I am a stroke.
A little creepy, because he looks like a pretty rough character there, with the wrinkled face in the shadow. But still, it’s a very memorable way to get the message across. I think we’ll all understand the seriousness of a stroke now if we didn’t before.
Categories: Greta, Television, WMATA
“Are your kids well-behaved, or do they need like a few light slams every now and then?”
3 minute read
July 18, 2004, 12:47 AM
I do enjoy watching Mrs. Doubtfire. I’m watching a tape of it right now. It’s amusing, to say the least. It’s got a great story, and some great lines. It’s got its fair share of big names, like Robin Williams, Sally Field, and Harvey Fierstein, but it’s also not what I would describe as a “celebrity clearinghouse”.
A “celebrity clearinghouse”, as I call it, is one of those productions where there is a larger-than-normal amount of big-name celebrities in the movie, usually making little cameo appearances. The Rocky and Bullwinkle movie was like that. Not a bad movie, mind you, but a high amount of celebrities.
Anyway, though, I enjoy Mrs. Doubtfire. One of my favorite lines was where after the bus driver saw Mrs. Doubtfire’s hairy knee (because she’s actually a he). He said, “I like that Mediterranean look in women. Natural. Just the way God made you.” If only he knew…
Otherwise, today has been one of those days where I’ve been giving Schumin Web some much-needed attention. Still working on the uploads for the new College Life site, though I’m almost done with that one. Also cleaned the remains of Almond Street’s storefront out of my Online Store, and so now that’s 100% Schumin Web inside of there. I still have to clean out all the images left over from Almond Street’s storefront (I have all the images saved somewhere, so it’s not like I’m losing anything). I also designed a new line of products for my Online Store around that expression of mine which I learned recently was original: Never underestimate the power and speed of stupid. That will turn up on the Web site before too long.
Categories: Movies, Schumin Web meta
I am now officially beginning my search for employment in or around Washington…
3 minute read
July 13, 2004, 12:34 AM
Yes, six months after leaving JMU, I am finally looking for a job in the Washington DC area.
So many people have asked me, “Why Washington?”
My answer is always something like this. It’s far enough away for me to live my own life (I have NO relatives in Washington), it’s a faster life than around here (where you can count the dotted lines on the highway for entertainment), I love the Washington DC area (I do!), and it’s close enough where it’s not a huge hardship to still visit the family.
So now I’m working on updating the resume some (or perhaps throwing it out and starting fresh), and going hunting. This is where the Internet comes in handy. All the hot spots to get information right at my fingertips. Countless DC area newspapers’ classified ads available, Monster.com, Yahoo HotJobs, etc.
Now mind you, though, my connection is like the equivalent of a 1981 Yugo. I have a dial-up connection. 56K. Slooooooooooooow. It would be nice if I had a faster connection. But still, it is handy nonetheless.
Categories: Movies, Myself, Washington DC
I don’t know what happened, but it definitely looked unpleasant
4 minute read
June 12, 2004, 11:59 PM
On my way back from Charlottesville, where I spent the day today (somehow I got a Saturday off without asking for it – go figure), on US 340 right before the intersection of 340 and 608, I had to slow down considerably. It was the only smart thing to do considering that there were northbound cars traveling in the left southbound lane. I’m like, what in the heck and slowed down and got in the right lane. Once I got closer, it all made some sense. First thing I saw was lots of shattered glass strewn across four of the five lanes of US 340 right where Stuart Avenue meets 340. I looked left, and I see two cars in some poor innocent person’s front yard at a weird angle. Looks like they didn’t go there on purpose. Some other cars were parked nearby. Then there was a guy putting out flares. I don’t know any details other than what I saw, and don’t know how bad the damage was or whether anyone was hurt or not. But I can tell you this. It definitely doesn’t look pleasant.
Otherwise, I had fun in Charlottesville. First, though, I got the Previa’s front end aligned at Eavers Tire in Stuarts Draft. That was related to the blowout I had two weeks ago. While I was waiting, I worked on my phone some, downloading a new version of Mobile IM (remember that my AIM screen name on my phone is Schumin Wireless), plus downloaded Tetris and Ms. Pac Man onto my phone.
Categories: Blue Ridge Parkway, Charlottesville, Driving, Today's Special, Toyota Previa
Compare for a moment… who looks better?
< 1 minute read
June 8, 2004, 10:33 PM
Let’s compare for a moment… who looks better in their blue vest? Let me present to you…
Exhibit A: Ben Schumin
Categories: Homestar Runner, Myself, Walmart
It is official: I have ordered two Strong Bad tees!
< 1 minute read
June 2, 2004, 10:39 PM
Yes, my birthday present is now officially on order: two Strong Bad tees. If only it worked like this, though…
Hey Strong Bad,
Get Bubs to give out free luncch (sic) specials and I’ll show you a hot girl.
Sincerly (sic),
Someone
Maybe if I can get Bubs to say his name backwards minus the first B, legend has it we can get a free lunch special, and maybe a free T-shirt if we’re really lucky.
Now if we can only get him to make another appearance on H*R as the Thnikkaman, and life will be perfect.
Though I should let you know that the current plan for the June cover photo (and by extension an explanation why one is not up yet) is that I am planning on dressing up as the Thnikkaman for the cover photo. A little tribute to one of my favorite Homestar Runner characters.
Still, I can’t wait to get my Strong Bad T-shirts. It will go quite well with my sister’s Teen Girl Squad T-shirt.
Categories: Birthdays, Homestar Runner, Retail, Schumin Web meta