“GOODEVENING HBO…”
2 minute read
June 28, 2007, 10:29 PM
A number of you have seen an away message that I’ve used somewhat frequently on AIM as of late, and have questioned me about it. I might as well explain. The away message was:
GOODEVENING HBO
FROM CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT
$12.95/MONTH ?
NO WAY !
[SHOWTIME/MOVIE CHANNEL BEWARE!]
It’s actually a little homage to a video pirate from the 1980s. On April 27, 1986 at 12:32 AM, John R. MacDougall engaged in direct action against HBO, protesting subscription fees for HBO that were considered overly high at that time. He had the perfect opportunity to do it, too. Along with his job as a satellite television dealer, he also worked for a company that provided uplink services for satellites. Coincidentally, the transmitter, when in its storage position, pointed directly at the Galaxy I satellite, which at that time carried HBO. So MacDougall launched his protest against HBO’s subscription fees by overriding the signal from HBO’s satellite transmitter. So during a playing of The Falcon and the Snowman on HBO, all of a sudden, HBO viewers saw this:
Continue reading…Categories: Activism, Television
I went to Ikea. That was a touch overwhelming.
2 minute read
May 28, 2007, 4:54 PM
First of all, hello from College Perk coffeehouse! I went to Ikea in College Park today to go bed-shopping. Talk about an overwhelming experience. First of all, the place is bigger than a Wal-Mart Supercenter. And it’s two floors. Then I got over there, and the parking lot was full. I mean full, like park-in-the-back-of-the-lot full.
I went in, and went up the escalator to their showroom. I saw the map coming in, so I kind of knew where I was going, or at least I thought. I got in, and got a bit disoriented. Lots of partitions made it less than straightforward about getting to the back where the beds were. I did find it, though I had no idea what was going on. I ultimately found a salesperson, to whom I admitted I was overwhelmed, and he was quite helpful and helped sort me out. I ultimately did figure out what was going on, though.
Bed shopping is interesting, though. To properly shop for a bed, one must try it out. I’m sure I looked amusing testing mattresses. The way you test them out is to get on them in a sleeping-type position and feel it. It reminds me of a scene from Today’s Special‘s “Shoes” episode. Jodie walks past a row of shoes, and comments on each pair:
Too big! Too small! Not right… at all! Too loose! Oh, too tight! Ah… (puts shoes on) these feel just right!
Categories: College Park, IKEA, Today's Special
Sable is packed to the gills…
2 minute read
May 11, 2007, 9:53 PM
I don’t think I’ve filled a car so full since I left Potomac Hall at JMU for the last time back in 2003. Back then, I had the Previa stuffed to the gills with my junk from the dorm. Now, I have the Sable filled to the brim with my stuff, headed for Silver Spring. That car is literally packed full. The back seats are folded down, and I’ve put stuff in every possible spot. There’s even stuff sitting in the passenger seat. I just hope the car doesn’t think it’s a passenger and sound the seat belt alarm when I get going. That would look odd to have the seat belt buckled over there, to keep the alarm quiet.
It reminds me of a rhyme by Muffy from Today’s Special:
There was an old woman who lived in a hat,
With fourteen kids and one smelly cat.
The hat was bulging, filled right to the brim,
And inside, things were looking mighty grim.
And then when the woman came back with one more kid,
The hat shouted, “Fifteen!” and blew its lid!
That was then followed by the top flying off a nearby top hat. But yeah, I think if I put anything else in there, the car will shout, “Fifteen!” and blow its lid, too.
One thing that I will really appreciate with this run for stuff is the lamps. Those four torchiere lamps that I have are coming, and will be placed in strategic locations in the apartment. It’s helpful because there are few light fixtures in the apartment, and lots of switches attached to electrical outlets. Thus since I brought no lamps on the first run, I had to kind of find my way around in the dark upon leaving the apartment, feeling for walls and furniture, to avoid running into them, and the subsequent cursing. And I don’t particularly like to swear, though I’ve been known to let them fly fairly easily.
Speaking of swearing, I remember something I did for a professor at JMU that both the professor and I found amusing. He said that we could write whatever on the tests themselves, “Just don’t write any swear words.” So I decided to be a bit of a wiseguy. I wrote “SWEAR WORDS” in all caps near the top of the test paper. Not actual dirty words – literally the phrase “swear words”.
All in all, I’m excited about living in the DC area…
Categories: JMU, Language, Mercury Sable, Move to DC area, Silver Spring, Today's Special
A few quick things…
< 1 minute read
April 24, 2007, 1:02 AM
First of all, the photos of the now-demolished Skyline Parkway Motel are officially in the can, and I will be posting those on Wednesday, after I get back from apartment hunting in DC on Tuesday.
Secondly, does anyone have a good recipe for green slime? I want to do a homage to You Can’t Do That On Television for the splash page, and so I need to make some slime. In making the slime, the finished product can’t be clear. It needs to be opaque and somewhat thick, and it also can’t be completely smooth. I want something authentic poured on my head when I say “I don’t know.” And of course, to get clean again after getting slimed, you just have to mention “water”.
Meanwhile, to be truly authentic, I’d need to find an old-style metal jungle gym to do the shoot at.
Categories: Afton Mountain, Photography, Skyline Parkway Motel, Television
Taquitos? Looks more like cigars to me!
2 minute read
December 25, 2006, 11:19 AM
I was watching “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger”, which was the third-season Christmas episode on Power Rangers. That was the one where Rito Revolto took over Santa’s workshop, forcing the elves to make Rita and Lord Zedd’s toys. The Power Rangers came to fix things up, but due to various odds and ends, they were unable to morph. Of course, the bad guys’ powers didn’t work, either, so all is fair. They just ran on being bad guys.
The scene I find amusing, though, is the scene where Lord Zedd is having his favorite snack: taquitos and dry ice. They didn’t do that great of a job showing what these things were. It looked like Zedd was having a good smoke over there, to be quite honest. See for yourself on these stills from that episode:
Categories: Christmas, Power Rangers
“Cannon to the right of them, Cannon to the left of them, Cannon in front of them…”
2 minute read
September 30, 2006, 10:46 PM
I’m watching the episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air on Nick at Nite where they get “Rafael de la Ghetto”, the allegedly famous poet, in to read poetry. Of course, it’s really Geoffrey the butler in an afro wig and a dashiki. It’s one of my favorite Fresh Prince episodes.
And with Jazz mentioning that finding someone literate to play Raphael de la Ghetto would cost Will “an extra two Jacksons” reminds me of something I’ve been thinking about lately. Have you noticed that in the two most recent incarnations of the US $20 bill, that they “softened” Andrew Jackson’s appearance? No? Take a look for yourself:
Categories: Amusing, Television
Firefighter Schumin is on his way!
2 minute read
July 26, 2006, 9:09 PM
Wasn’t today an exciting day at work!
Not long after my first break, one of our cart pushers reported that there was a mulch fire in the parking lot. One of our CSMs, knowing I’m on the safety team, came up to the service desk and got me, and handed me a fire extinguisher. I quickly found out what was going on as we were walking out to the parking lot to the fire. I ended up ripping off the tag and pulling out the pin on the way out the door.
We got to the mulch that was on fire in the parking lot. It was on a traffic island about a third of the way down the lot. After chasing off some very stupid teenagers who were trying to put it out by stomping it out in their flip flops (very dumb teenagers), I went to work. Since I had already pulled the pin, I went about it as I’d seen in the past, staying low, aiming for the base of the fire, and sweeping side to side. And I got the fire out, too. It seems that what I’d learned had sunken in fairly well, as I’d performed flawlessly despite having never actually used a fire extinguisher before.
I used up the entire extinguisher on it, just to be on the safe side. It’s just as well, too, since you can’t reuse a fire extinguisher that’s been discharged until it’s professionally recharged. But like I said, I got the fire out.
Categories: Today's Special, Walmart
“This is the best elevator music I’ve ever heard!”
< 1 minute read
July 22, 2006, 1:56 AM
First time I’d ever heard the term “elevator music” was actually on The Cosby Show, at the end of the sixth-season opening, when Bill Cosby says, “This is the best elevator music I’ve ever heard!”
I, being eight years old at the time, thought that “elevator music” was a genre, akin to rock and roll or classical, rather than something more practical: Music that gets played in an elevator. Though note that I’ve never actually been in an elevator with music being piped in.
Nowadays, though, I genuinely enjoy so-called “elevator music” when I just want something – nothing in particular – to drown out the silence. Music from The Weather Channel does really well for that. This would be why I hate the voice during the local forecast saying, “Currently in your area…” Then I also have a clip called “elevator music” and a bit of something else that allegedly was played on The Weather Channel.
So yeah, I’m a nerd.
And speaking of the title of this entry, it’s funny… the clip I have on my iPod of the sixth-season Cosby Show theme was from an Italian translation of the show. Thus instead of “This is the best elevator music I’ve ever heard!” it’s something else in a different voice in Italian. I was playing that for Mom on the way home from Harrisonburg once. She was surprised to hear that.
Categories: Music, Television
“I must dance my dance… at last I am Jeffrey!”
2 minute read
April 14, 2006, 11:07 PM
First of all, yes, I realize that the title of this entry is a mis-quote, from “A Visit to the Opera” on Today’s Special. The correct end of that line is “at last I am set free!” I wrote it with “Jeffrey” in there because that’s how I initially heard it as a child. A little mondegreen right there. It made sense to me – the character of Lightning in “The Rainmakers” was played by Jeff Hyslop, and while it seemed odd that he would sing “At last I am Jeffrey,” it made sense.
But the reason I mention this is because you should have seen the lightning this evening! It looked like a fire drill in the sky with all the flashing going on. And it wasn’t just the twinkly kind of lightning. There were some serious lightning bolts, both in the sky, and also going towards the ground. Some of them really lit up the landscape in this very eerie blue color. They’re very spectacular to watch, but not so fun when you’re out and about, as I was. I hit the Blue Ridge Parkway after work to relax, which I take as far down as Buena Vista, where I cross over to Lexington and then go back home via US 11.
I didn’t get the lightning, though, until I got to Lexington. Thankfully, I had clear skies while I was on the Parkway, though there was a slight haze in the valley below. By the way, the Blue Ridge Parkway is NOT somewhere that you want to be when it’s raining. Because it’s high up in the mountains, it gets VERY foggy up there, and visibility often becomes practically zero.
Categories: Blue Ridge Parkway, Radio, Today's Special, Weather
I really need to do something about getting a N-E-W C-A-R…
2 minute read
October 30, 2005, 8:30 PM
Yes, we’re spelling it out. You see, every time I talk about the C-A-R on here, I have some sort of mishap with the Previa. But let me tell you, though… that car is a trooper, but parts are starting to go. The radio went in 2000. The air conditioning died in 2002. At some point, a panel on the interior of the door broke loose. The cruise control started a slow death in 2002 or so and now only works when it feels like it. I also recently got a crack in the windshield. And as you saw not long ago, I had to do a quick-fix on a wiper blade (which still works like a charm).
And now, I have no heat. Absolutely NO heat. Last time I got heat out of the car was on April 16 of this year, when Sis and I went up to Washington DC for A16, and needed heat (and didn’t get heat until halfway up there because we accidentally forgot to switch it over to heat). Then the warmer months came along and I didn’t need the heat. Now it’s cold again, and I have no heat at all. I really need a new car, but since I can’t afford that, I’m going to have to get it repaired. And that means that I’m going to have to call around to find out who will be willing to look at it and such to get it fixed.
And my rule about going to local businesses is that I don’t like going some place where everyone who works there is someone I went to high school with. I don’t like getting called “buddy” by people I never particularly cared for. I prefer to go some place where the people don’t all know me – makes me feel more like a customer.
Categories: Halloween, New car, Power Rangers, Toyota Previa
Packing up for a nice vacation…
3 minute read
August 21, 2005, 9:13 PM
I’ve got my suitcase all packed up, and all I have left to do is to properly pack Big Mavica, unhook my alarm clock and my cell phone charger, and put together my entire toiletries kit. Not too shabby. Then over here on the Web site, I’m going to change the photo feature to an image from last year’s trip to the beach (the black-and-white photo of the woman in Dupont Circle was deliberately held longer than intended to time this next feature), and then I’m going to put a vacation message on the updates list.
All in all, I’m excited! And I think that everyone at work knows that I’m going on vacation. I told everyone, and even was nearly counting down the minutes until 4:00 (which is “quittin’ time” for me). I also jokingly told a few more coworkers I’d get them some sand as a souvenir. And then other coworkers were saying it’s going to be so quiet around the store without me for those five days.
Also, I had one of those priceless moments at work today. In a slower moment, a coworker needed a CSM. They ultimately needed to page over the squawk box for them. So they dial the number to page, and thought they were paging. What do we hear? A voice without amplification. So I said, “I don’t think you got it.” So they try again, and they still don’t get on there. So I give it a try. I dial to page, and I’m live on the PA system, and successfully deliver the page. I hang up, and turn to the coworker: *raspberry*. Yes, I couldn’t resist doing the old “Bronx cheer” there, giving them the raspberries. They knew I was being silly, and so it was all good.
Categories: Schumin Web meta, Television, Travel, Virginia Beach, Walmart
“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
< 1 minute read
June 14, 2005, 10:42 PM
On my lunch break, I went to our in-store McDonald’s to get lunch, since our lines on the front end were backed out the wazoo (even the self-checkouts!). McDonald’s wasn’t busy. So since they weren’t busy, I decided to see what their reaction would be. I came up to the counter, and said that famous line of Wimpy‘s: “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
And the reaction?
*crickets chirping with blank stares*
Yeah, none of the people at the counter got it. The manager, however, did get it, and got a kick out of it.
Sometimes throwing pop culture references around is fun. Also amusing is that today was Thesday, so “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today” was rather odd. Of course, I did gladly pay them Tuesday for a hamburger today, since it was Tuesday and all…
Categories: Food and drink, Television
Today was a good day, though a long day.
3 minute read
June 13, 2005, 6:01 PM
Today was a good day. It was also a long day, but a good day nonetheless. The customers were nice, and seemed to do fairly well today on the self-checkouts, compared to a weekend, where people seem to have trouble on them.
All in all, it was quite a pleasant day. It seemed to be a long day, too, but it was a good day. And we were comfortably busy. Not bad.
And then otherwise, I realized that I’m nearly two weeks late writing this month’s newsletter. I guess with everything going on lately it just totally slipped my mind. Well, I’m going to rectify that just as soon as I finish this Journal entry.
Today was also an interesting head-music day for me. I had the weirdest songs floating through my head today. I had Marzipan’s scroll buttons song running through my head. I had the Crying Kitten song in my head today. I had the I Love You Kitten song stuck in my head. I had Yatta playing on a loop in my head. Today just seemed to be a day for all the different “Internet Songs” to take over my mind.
Categories: Homestar Runner, Netculture, Television, Walmart
The ice man cometh on Tuesdays!
2 minute read
April 5, 2005, 8:24 PM
In our Wal-Mart in Waynesboro, the guy from Reddy Ice comes on Tuesday mornings to fill up the ice machines. And so it’s an excuse to be funny. I say, “The ice man cometh.” And it’s one of those things where it’s perfectly accurate. The ice man did cometh. And he bringeth ice. I asked the Reddy Ice guy one time how many people say “the ice man cometh” when he comes to do the ice machine. I found out that he hears that A LOT… practically at every stop he makes. Of course, if you are the ice man, you must cometh. And we prefer an ice man who bringeth ice. That way, we can selleth ice to the customers.
I remember the first time I heard the phrase “the ice man cometh” (or “the iceman cometh”, your pick). It was on America’s Funniest Home Videos. The video showed a man in a martial arts uniform on a stage coming up to a rack of four large blocks of ice. He strikes it, and then falls off the stage, through the ice. The voiceover by Bob Saget was, “The ice man cometh. The ice man breaketh. The ice man falleth.”
Otherwise, though, today was a decent day. I got to rectify my pet peeves today. In other words, I got to neaten up and pull the trash out of the registers today. And dust what needed dusting. Nothing irritates me more than when I come to a register to work, and find that the people before me left me some “surprises” stuffed in weird places. And I always discover them at the most inopportune times, too.
Maybe one day I’ll have a job where I have a desk that only I use, and so I won’t come to work and find little “surprises” in funny places.
Categories: Television, Walmart
“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a credit card today.”
2 minute read
February 25, 2005, 10:34 PM
My friend Katie was working a table in the front of the store today getting people to sign up for a Wal-Mart Credit Card, instead of working in her usual spot back in the Garden Center. So Katie was right near me, in my usual spot somewhere along the front end. So as I was passing by, I borrowed a line from J. Wellington Wimpy, better known simply as “Wimpy” from the Popeye cartoons, saying, “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a credit card today.” Of course, Wimpy used to say, “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
But it was still amusing. Some people got my Wimpy reference and were amused by it, and for others it went right over their heads.
Otherwise, though, my day was good. I read in the newspaper in the breakroom that NASA has figured out a way to prevent the Columbia disaster from reoccurring. If the shuttle is damaged so as to make reentry dangerous, the crew will wait in the International Space Station until another shuttle with a four-man crew can arrive. For this first launch, Discovery will be the shuttle going on the mission, and should something go wrong, they’ll send Atlantis after it. Then should something go wrong, they’d undock Discovery from the station and dock Atlantis. They would then ditch Discovery by remote control and send it to a watery grave in the Pacific Ocean. Then Atlantis would return with eleven people on board – a world record.
I think it’s odd to hear them talking about ditching a Space Shuttle. The thought of this huge, expensive vehicle having to be “ditched” is just someting that struck me as strange. But it is a possibility, and it must be considered. I’m sure if they could do a rescue mission and then ditch Columbia, those seven astronauts would still be with us today.
Categories: Space, Television, Walmart