Always wear underwear
< 1 minute read
April 27, 2006, 9:26 AM
After what happened to me yesterday, I’d like to remind everyone – ALWAYS wear underwear.
With that said, here’s what happened…
I was at work, and running a register. Realizing that the previous customer had accidentally left a bag on the wheel, I went after them to give them their missing bag. In pursuing them, my pants accidentally fell down, right there in front of everyone. My first reaction was to quickly pull my pants back up. And I still caught the customer before they left and got them their bag.
Still, my coworkers saw it. The rest of the day, I heard a number of good-natured comments about a pair of suspenders being a good investment. And 183,000 square feet is not as big as it sounds, as all of my coworkers soon learned of the incident.
And why did it happen in the first place? Well… as I mentioned in a previous Journal entry, I seem to be losing weight. And so my clothes have been a wee bit more loose as of late. And the cheapskate in me has decided not to go out and get replacement clothes. I’ll replace when they wear out, but not before that. So what’s the fix? A new belt, which I’m going to get today. That ought to prevent this episode from reoccurring.
And you know what this whole “wardrobe malfunction” reminds me of? Yolanda Bowsley from The Price is Right, who lost her tube top while going down to contestants’ row.
Still, now you understand why it’s always important to wear underwear. You never know when it might accidentally be revealed.
Categories: Walmart
The Easter Bunny and I were waiting for a bus together…
< 1 minute read
April 15, 2006, 7:01 PM
Continue reading…I got called “babe” today, by a man, in front of his wife!
2 minute read
March 26, 2006, 8:53 PM
Of all the stupid things people can say, the thing that a man in my line said today definitely took the cake.
First of all, for those of you who have seen pictures of me (and if you’re here at my site, it’s pretty hard not to), you can tell I’m obviously male.
Yet this man, after I handed him his change and his receipt, said, “Thanks, babe.”
I paused, so as to take a moment to digest this comment, which I was not expecting. Then I said, “Did you just call me ‘babe’?” He explained it away by saying that he was thinking about the cashier before me on that register (we’d just switched out just before I started ringing him up). Still, I wonder if he wanted a little salt with that foot, considering he said that right in front of his wife, of all people.
That just took the cake, let me tell you.
Categories: Some people, Walmart, Wikipedia
I will not conduct my own fire drills…
2 minute read
February 19, 2006, 9:51 PM
I went to Martin’s with my friend Katie on Friday, and we had a blast. The thing I noticed first off, though, was in the right-side vestibule. Notice anything wrong with this photo of the fire alarm annunciator?
Categories: Driving, Fire alarms, Martin's, Mercury Sable
The child said, “Grandma, we’re never going out in public with you again!”
< 1 minute read
February 5, 2006, 7:03 PM
Oh, what a day at Wal-Mart. What a weekend at Wal-Mart, for that matter. You’d think that it was the biggest football game of the year going on based on the way these people were shopping.
Still, what left me amused was when this one lady came through my line today. She asked me to page her daughter. So I did. A few minutes later, the daughter’s children (i.e. the woman’s grandchildren) came up to the lady and the older one of the two said, “Grandma, we’re never going out in public with you again!” I couldn’t contain myself any longer – I, along with the lady who was checking out (and the target of the remark), started laughing. I’m sorry, you should have seen it. It was SO cute. Even more so when they said that their mother had told them to say it.
So that just made my day.
Can I afford it? Probably not. Was it tasty? Yes!
2 minute read
January 31, 2006, 6:10 PM
I went over to Martin’s after work to buy dinner, and again got the self-scan contraption to play with. It was also a heck of a lot less crowded over there this time, and so it was easier to navigate through the store.
This time, instead of a full-size shopping cart, I got a two-tiered shopping cart. Those basically look like this:
Image from Cart Wranglers
Categories: Martin's, Retail, Waynesboro
Do NOT preach your religion to me, and ESPECIALLY not when I’m at work!
2 minute read
January 28, 2006, 11:55 PM
I had a customer today at the self-checkout that REALLY got on my nerves. He rings himself up on the self-checkout. He pays. So far, so good, right? Okay. So after he finishes, he comes up to me, where I’m standing at the self-checkout podium, running the show. He has a question for me.
Now I consider myself to be very good with where things are in the store. I can point someone to just about any item in the place. I’m also very good with directions and know the area quite well, and can direct you on how to get just about anywhere. Seriously – other associates and also some of our managers have referred people to me for driving directions.
So the man hesitates for a moment. I’m waiting for the question. What does he want to know? He asks the question: “Do you accept Jesus as your lord and savior?” As someone who’s become strongly non-religious in the last couple of years, I take offense to complete strangers asking me about my religious beliefs (which I generally do not discuss because I don’t think most people want to hear what I have to say on the issue), and I especially find it offensive when people start forcing their religious beliefs on me in my place of business.
So I went and checked out the competition today…
2 minute read
January 27, 2006, 6:01 PM
After work, I went to the new Martin’s that opened behind our Wal-Mart store in Waynesboro. I got to use their pre-scanning technology, and paid for it all using their self-checkout machines (U-Scan, by the way).
All in all, I had a good experience. The service was friendly, the store was clean and well-decorated, and loaded with touch-screens. For the most part, the store resembles a Giant Food store (and indeed, Giant of Carlisle is the parent company).
I mentioned pre-scanning technology earlier. After you sign up for a “Bonuscard”, you have the option of getting a hand-scanner that fits into a little holder on your shopping cart. The shopping cart also has bagging arms built onto the cart, which employees attach bags to before you start. Then as you shop, you pick out your items, scan them, and bag them right in your cart. To take an item off, you just push a button and re-scan the unwanted item. Fun.
What Schumin does on his “weekend”…
2 minute read
January 27, 2006, 12:51 AM
My Wednesday-Thursday weekend was fun. I got to accomplish a few things that I’d wanted to do. First of all, I attempted to visit the new Martin’s store in Waynesboro, that opened up next to Wal-Mart. I attempted to get in, but the store was so crowded that I ended up having to scratch that idea, since I wasn’t about to park at Wal-Mart and walk over to Martin’s. There were literally no parking spaces available in the Martin’s lot. I consider that too far of a distance to walk, plus I consider it rude to park in one business’s parking lot to patronize their competitor. I did, however, get the chance to fill up the car, since Martin’s has a gas station on its premises. I got to fill up for $2.19 a gallon, too, which is pretty good for Waynesboro at this time (the nearby Exxon and Citgo stations were selling at $2.29 a gallon).
After that, I took a trip to Roanoke, which worked out well despite that the friend I was supposed to meet up with in Roanoke never got back with me (so we didn’t end up meeting up). I ended up visiting my usual Roanoke spots, plus I also drove over to Salem, where I basically took a little driving tour of the town. So that was fun.
Categories: Martin's, Retail, Roanoke, Schumin Web meta, Wikipedia
What “abandoned former Wal-Mart sites”?
2 minute read
January 21, 2006, 11:17 PM
In the Staunton News Leader‘s January 21, 2006 house editorial, they discussed about the Frontier Culture Museum’s plan for using some of its property fronting US 250 and Frontier Drive for retail in order to help fund the museum’s programs (the museum itself is back and out of sight from the front of the property).
What made my ears perk up while reading this was this paragraph about the facility that anchors all this development:
Remember too that the retail leviathan that anchors the area is an aging Wal-Mart. Those who recall all the other abandoned former Wal-Mart sites around Staunton can attest that this chain is not the most faithful.
I question the accuracy of this statement. I am not even going to touch the issue of how “faithful” Wal-Mart is, because it’s immaterial to the discussion.
Categories: Staunton, Virginia local news, Walmart
I guess I’ll now be thinking about how things coordinate with maroon…
< 1 minute read
January 13, 2006, 5:12 PM
Today, I was just stunned. I’m sure many associates have fantasized about wearing the maroon vest of the Four-Star Cashier at Wally World. And as it turns out, I was selected as the Four-Star Cashier for our store for January. I was just taken back a bit. Still, I wondered how I’d look in the new vest. So I used an old photo of me in my old blue vest and adjusted it. Take a look and compare…
I think I look pretty sharp in maroon, don’t you think? This also means I’ll finally be getting a new vest at work, as mine is on the verge of falling apart and really should have been replaced long ago. Seriously, I’ve had to make repairs to it on a number of occasions, and have even worn a hole through one of the pockets. So all in all, fun stuff. I was quite surprised.
Categories: Walmart
Photographing the Waynesboro Outlet Village before it all comes down…
4 minute read
January 12, 2006, 6:38 PM
Today, I went to see the Waynesboro Outlet Village for what will likely be the last time. The January 6 issue of the Staunton News Leader ran an article discussing how the Outlet Village will be demolished this summer to make way for a new shopping center.
Let me tell you… the Outlet Village is a “dead mall”. When we first moved to this area in 1992, the Waynesboro Outlet Village was alive and full of stores, and most of them were factory outlet stores. Then in the mid-1990s, something changed (I think a management change is what did it), and stores started to leave the Outlet Village, leaving the place in its current form. As of my visit today, there are five stores in operation. Let me name them: Liz Claiborne (which was having a going-out-of-business sale), Paper Factory, Tile Visions, Virginia Metalcrafters, and the Artisans Center of Virginia. All of these stores are isolated from each other in the Outlet Village as far as location goes.
Then there are also a number of non-traditional tenants, as there’s a nonprofit computer refurbishing service in one location, as well as One Child at a Time, aka OCAT, in another building. In other words, a few spots are filled up with offices. This is nothing new – I was hired by Borg-Warner Staffing for CFW Information Services (later Telegate) at the Outlet Village. Borg-Warner had offices in 7F. Borg-Warner, like the rest of them, is now gone from that location, having presumably folded up shop there when Telegate closed their Waynesboro call center in April 2002.
Categories: Waynesboro, Waynesboro Outlet Village
“You have to be smarter than the objects you’re working with.”
< 1 minute read
January 1, 2006, 10:36 PM
Sometimes, people just say the darndest things. A customer told me today, “You have to be smarter than the objects you’re working with.” I nearly burst out laughing. Why? Because while he was referring to the bag of dog food he was putting up on the belt, I was thinking about it from my own perspective. The object I was working with was the gentleman in front of me. And you have to be smarter than the objects you’re working with, according to this gentleman.
My exact thought came in the form of a quip from Judge Judy: “I’m very smart, and I will still be smarter than you even if you live to be five hundred.”
It took everything in me to keep from laughing at this man, because he didn’t realize just what he had said…
Categories: Walmart
This makes the second time someone’s stashed something next to my car…
< 1 minute read
December 31, 2005, 6:22 PM
I don’t know what it is about my car, but it seems to be attractive to people for stashing stuff near at work. For those of you who don’t know, I park my car at the far left edge of the parking lot. And today at work, I found two gift bags stuffed under the front of my car that weren’t there when I pulled in that morning. Very strange.
Then another time last year, I found that someone had abandoned a full Burger King uniform, still in its box, on the pavement next to my car. I was inclined to leave it where it was and forget about it (the “not my problem” factor). A coworker that I was walking out with at that time took it over to Burger King the next day.
All in all, strange. Of course, people are strange in general, which is something I’ve found out working in retail…
Categories: Some people, Walmart
The Christmas season, for my purposes, is at last over.
2 minute read
December 24, 2005, 5:52 PM
It is Christmas Eve, and I have officially finished for the day at work, which I did at 4 PM. That means that for me, Christmas is over. Opening the presents tomorrow morning is nothing compared to dealing with a bunch of cranky Christmas shoppers.
Meanwhile, there’s nothing like working retail to suck the Christmas spirit right out of a person. The phrase “Merry Friggin’ Christmas” comes to mind. And if that offends your sensibilities, then “Happy Friggin’ Holidays” to you.
And in the break room, we cozied up to reading the children’s letters to Santa Claus that were published in The News Leader today. I tell you… that was high entertainment. The letters were printed verbatim, complete with original spelling and punctuation errors, so Sis and I had fun reading them literally. As both of us enjoy Strong Bad Emails, we have no qualms over making fun of someone’s punctuation and spelling. Still, the letters ran the usual course. Children asked for a long list of very expensive toys, and so there will be some very disappointed little children tomorrow morning, when they didn’t get the three different game consoles they asked for. Same for the kid who asked for a horse and two frogs. Then for one kid, the term “oversharing” came to mind, as he said how he was a big boy who poops in the potty. All of us were thinking that this was too much, and the phrase “I did not need to know that!” came to mind regarding his restroom practices. Of course, there was a fully grown adult male who recently told me in the checkout line, in front of his wife, no less, that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. The wife and I were both telling him, “Oversharing!” Then there were some nearly-illegible Emails, where we couldn’t make out the writer’s intent regarding the words, and where the sentences were far from complete.
Categories: Advertising, Christmas, Homestar Runner, Walmart