“I’m gellin like a felon!”
< 1 minute read
July 20, 2004, 8:17 PM
There is no further proof that I spend way more than my fair share of time at Wal-Mart than the fact that I can recite so many of the commercials that they run on the loudspeaker. For instance, Dr. Scholls:
Guy: Hey, Ellen, are you gellin?
Girl: I’m gellin like a felon! Are you gellin?
Guy: I’m gellin. Want some melon?
I also learned that my coworkers also have heard it too many times, too. I casually asked a couple of coworkers if they were “gellin”, and I consistently was told, “I’m gellin like a felon!” And then we all got a good laugh out of it.
Still, we who work at Wal-Mart have heard everything that loudspeaker has done, and heard it numerous times. I still remember when three of us at the Service Desk all sang “Lean On Me” when it came over the PA system. The Service Desk Choir, we were.
Then there’s also the ads for West Nile Virus (informing everyone to get bug spray with deet), and the credit builder tip of the week. I could recite those to you, too.
Categories: Walmart
“Bad fashion makes baby Jesus cry.”
2 minute read
July 17, 2004, 12:51 AM
That’s what my sister told me once. She said that bad fashion makes baby Jesus cry. She doesn’t like the way I dress, it seems. In case you’re wondering, lately, I’ve gravitated to contrasting solids. If I wear dark pants I wear a light shirt. If I wear light pants, I wear a dark shirt. Then of course there’s always all-black, which I also enjoy. And I try to make my colors work, too. I don’t wear something that obviously clashes. I try to look good when I go to work.
Maybe it’s the shoes. I have been known to regularly wear sandals with socks.
But anyway…
I also recently participated in the Wal-Mart cross-town merchandise shuttle. On Thursday, my day off, I went to Staunton Wal-Mart for some odds and ends (did I mention you should never go shopping when you’re really hungry?). Of those odds and ends, I bought two great big throw pillows. They were black with fake fur on one side, and plain on the other. So I got them home. I put them on my couch. One word: YUCK. They were too black for my decor. So back to the store they went. Where did I return them? Not to Staunton. Oh, nay. I had to work the next day. So I returned them to Waynesboro, thus completing the shuttle.
Continue reading…Wild weather!
4 minute read
July 2, 2004, 1:21 AM
Boy, did we have some wild weather today! A tremendous thunderstorm came up out of nowhere around 5 PM (literally out of nowhere – it was sunny when I left for work at 1:30). This thunderstorm was amazing. Winds like mad (so I’m told – no windows at Wal-Mart), really heavy rains – enough to hear it on the salesfloor over the din of the customers, lightning like crazy, incredibly loud thunder (one round of thunder was a BOOM like an explosion rather than a rumble), and even hail, which you could hear on the roof.
And then, as one of our CSMs was handing me a flashlight for “just in case the power went off”, no sooner did she say it than the lights went out. Then they came back on. Then they went out for good. Let me say that the many skylights we have came in really handy, as the only parts of our store that were actually dark were the Service Desk and the other various “caves” in the store, like Layaway, the Vision Center, the Portrait Studio, etc. Those areas were dark, but we still had emergency lighting, which helped. But the bulk of the store was still very well lit by natural light.
Since we couldn’t do much at the Service Desk, since our scanners were out of service over there, they pulled me to the registers, where we hurried to get all the customers checked out despite having no belts due to no power (I told customers that I have no belt and that they should put their items at the end of the belt), and the fact that the customers had to be checked out before our backup power went out. We made it, thank goodness.
Categories: Schumin Web meta, Walmart, Weather
Two more things…
2 minute read
June 30, 2004, 12:20 AM
First of all, it’s interesting having my sister working in the same place as me (mind you, though, she’s a cashier and I’m at the Service Desk). Usually if we get off near each other, one waits on the other, and in the case of this evening, we both took our vests home (vs. putting them in our respective lockers). Reason? Me: “I’m doing a load of vests tonight.” You see, I got powdered sugar all over mine after a lady brought up a broken bag of it. I got most of the sugar in the bag, but also managed to sugar-coat the counter, as well as me. So there you go. So as a result of washing our vests, there are two distinct piles on the kitchen counter. One is topped by a name badge saying “BEN”, with “CUSTOMER SERVICE” and “RISK CONTROL TEAM MEMBER” on it. The other, smaller pile is topped by a name badge saying “ANN”. Still, both vests are now hanging to dry.
And otherwise, I met Moreko Griggs at Wal-Mart today. For those of you who don’t know, Moreko Griggs is one of three valedictorians for Waynesboro High School’s class of 2004. There was considerable controversy there about there being three valedictorians, which in the final accounting turned out to be the adults making a big stink about something that those actually involved (Griggs and the other two valedictorians) didn’t see as too big of a deal. Either way, though, it was neat to meet him, as he has become a bit of a local celebrity.
That’s one reason I like working at Wal-Mart. You see everyone, from the famous (Jimmy Fortune of the Statler Brothers was known to shop here occasionally), to local heroes (like Moreko Griggs), to local politicians (I met Waynesboro councilman Reo Hatfield at the grocery fastlanes once). You also see friends and family, as well as repeat customers. It’s neat.
Finally, an off-day!
2 minute read
June 29, 2004, 11:42 PM
Yes, after six straight days, where I worked all four different Service Desk shifts at least once, I finally have gotten another off-day. This Wednesday, I will be going nowhere near my own Wal-Mart. Other people’s Wal-Marts, on the other hand, are a completely different story, as most other Wal-Marts don’t look at all like Waynesboro’s. Most Wal-Marts are gray, red, and blue. Our store is beige and forest green. Our store has black signage and faux-wood floors. Most stores have some sort of blue signage and carpeting.
So I have yet to figure out what tomorrow looks like. Probably not going to go out, but rather I will probably take the opportunity to do some serious work on the Web site. I really need to work on it, since right now I’m behind on a few different projects, including spinning College Life off into its own subsidiary site, working on “The Lights of the Night” group of photo sets, and my “Memories” College Life set.
Otherwise, the phrase “Are your gas bills so high they make you want to cry?” is just perfect for me. To fill up the Previa costs almost $30 with these astronomical gas prices. And my car isn’t even one of those gas-guzzling SUVs.
Now sport-utility vehicles aren’t helping the price of gas, either. If people would all get small, fuel-efficient cars, maybe we could all get more for our money as far as gas goes. I know that when I eventually replace the Previa, I will be getting a small car, preferably a station wagon.
Categories: Driving, Family, Food and drink, Schumin Web meta, Toyota Previa, Walmart
See anything in this picture that raises an eyebrow?
5 minute read
June 14, 2004, 10:24 PM
Categories: Lake Moomaw, National politics, Retail, Security, Virginia Beach, WMATA
Compare for a moment… who looks better?
< 1 minute read
June 8, 2004, 10:33 PM
Let’s compare for a moment… who looks better in their blue vest? Let me present to you…
Exhibit A: Ben Schumin
Categories: Homestar Runner, Myself, Walmart
It is official: I have ordered two Strong Bad tees!
< 1 minute read
June 2, 2004, 10:39 PM
Yes, my birthday present is now officially on order: two Strong Bad tees. If only it worked like this, though…
Hey Strong Bad,
Get Bubs to give out free luncch (sic) specials and I’ll show you a hot girl.
Sincerly (sic),
Someone
Maybe if I can get Bubs to say his name backwards minus the first B, legend has it we can get a free lunch special, and maybe a free T-shirt if we’re really lucky.
Now if we can only get him to make another appearance on H*R as the Thnikkaman, and life will be perfect.
Though I should let you know that the current plan for the June cover photo (and by extension an explanation why one is not up yet) is that I am planning on dressing up as the Thnikkaman for the cover photo. A little tribute to one of my favorite Homestar Runner characters.
Still, I can’t wait to get my Strong Bad T-shirts. It will go quite well with my sister’s Teen Girl Squad T-shirt.
Categories: Birthdays, Homestar Runner, Retail, Schumin Web meta
Got some new tires today…
< 1 minute read
June 2, 2004, 7:59 PM
After work, I went to Wal-Mart’s Tire and Lube Express (hereafter TLE). And I got me some tires. And this is the benefit of my sister now also working at Wal-Mart. Only an hour of our shifts coincided today, and so while she was working, and my car was at TLE, I took her car out for a little while, since waiting around at Wal-Mart is a drag if you’re not in the shopping mood, and you can only ride the mechanical horse in the game room so many times before it gets old. Besides, when I rode it, I ended up looking like Strong Bad after he drank a cup of soy sauce, like I’m trying to pilot Bubs’s Concession Stand.
So I rode around in her car, which she calls “The Gray Lady”. Very small car compared to the Previa. I felt like my butt was dragging on the road. In fact, I think I would be literally dragging along the road if that thing were any lower. For her trouble in letting me use it, I did fill the tank, do her windows, and take out the used napkins that were on the floor.
Meanwhile, it’s burning up in here. We need to turn on the air conditioning.
Categories: Walmart
Gotta love the first of the month…
< 1 minute read
June 1, 2004, 9:58 PM
The first of the month… everyone decides they want to go shopping! So as a result, we were busy. Good to be busy, though. Time goes by quickly.
Meanwhile, this has been a stormy spring! Last spring it rained and rained. This year, we’re getting our fair share of rain, along with some serious thunder and lightning. And wind. Makes for an interesting spring, though it will make for many spoiled attempts at outdoor recreation, like my most recent trip to Lake Moomaw.
By the way, I am going again, and plus after I saw a map of where Lake Moomaw is, I’m going to see if I can find a more direct route to Lake Moomaw than via Covington, since Lake Moomaw is near the border of Alleghany and Bath Counties, which means that the way I go, I go south to Lexington, west to Covington, and then north to Lake Moomaw. I wonder if there’s a southwesterly route I could take. Hmmmm…
So tomorrow I work 7-4, and then going to Tire and Lube Express to get a new tire to replace that blown one. Also probably replacing the one on the other side, since it’s about ready to be replaced, judging by the looks of the treads. I also need an alignment, but sadly, TLE doesn’t do alignments. But I’m told that alignments aren’t too bad cost-wise.
So that’s my life. And I’m now officially 23 years old. Whoopee. But I am ordering those Strong Bad tees soon.
Categories: Walmart
“Arlington Cemetery station is closed! Please get back onto the train and go to the next station!”
9 minute read
May 31, 2004, 9:36 PM
Well… my birthday trip to Washington DC that I took a day early (my birthday is the 30th, and I went on the 29th) went very well. A friend of mine actually put it this way…
Um, do you realize what is going on in DC this weekend? I’d leave Transit Deprived Town in the Middle of Nowhere, VA now if you want parking at Vienna come Saturday morning.
I do not take offense to “Transit Deprived Town in Middle of Nowhere, VA”. I am both transit-deprived locally, and also in the middle of nowhere. And Staunton’s trolley-bus system, the closest thing to transit around here, doesn’t even follow a schedule, but rather, they just say that they run a 20-minute loop, and so a trolley-bus should be there about every 20 minutes or so when service is running. They do call their two services “Green Line” and “Red Line”, which amuses me, though.
But anyway, though, the main concern in the comment was that DC was supposed to be swamped with tourists for the World War II Memorial dedication, which I was already aware about. The concern, of course, was that I would not be able to get parking at Vienna. Hadn’t planned for that, but after thinking about it, I determined that if I didn’t get parking at Vienna, I would head over to Franconia-Springfield on the Blue Line and park over there.
Categories: DC trips, Television, Toyota Previa, Walmart, Washington DC
“When the water fills the clouds, then they call on lightning! When the rain needs to pour, then they call on me! And I crackle, and I flash… people think I’m frightening… when I dance through the clouds and send the rain free!”
2 minute read
May 21, 2004, 11:04 PM
You know the story. Thunder blows its giant trumpet, and then…
“I must dance my dance… at last I am set free! It’s my chance to dance (to dance his dance!) where the whole world can see me! I can flash through the sky… and light up the heavens…”
Yes, it rained today. Specifically, we had some mighty thunderstorms. It’s not often that you can see lightning through the skylights at Wal-Mart. It’s also not often that you can hear the rain on the roof from the salesfloor at Wal-Mart. Usually you can hear the rain on the roof in the back room, since it’s usually quiet back there. But to hear it over the din of the customers is is something else. You know that it’s got to be raining hard for that to happen. And it was LOUD on the roof, too! And to hear thunder loud and clear in the store is another thing.
And the ride home was just fun. Raining and all that all the way home, with lightning flashing all over the sky, really lighting up the sky. If only I had Big Mavica and a tripod with me to get a long-exposure shot of it all. And watch me get zapped in the process. It would be a heck of a way to go, though.
Categories: Food and drink, Myself, Today's Special, Walmart, Weather
Let me tell you about Lake Moomaw…
5 minute read
May 21, 2004, 2:25 AM
What a wonderful day on Wednesday! I admittedly got a late start, not leaving for Covington until 1 PM. But I still had fun. Stopped at Wal-Mart in Covington to grab some cheap flip-flop sandals (palm tree print!) and some sunscreen, and then went off to the lake.
I found the swimming beach, and the little bath house next to it, and changed into my suit, and went to soak for a while. It was fun. Very cool and refreshing. Very quiet, with the Interstate and the city of Covington far away. It’s really a great place to let your mind just go. Way out in the mountains, where you can just let your mind relax. I do love Lake Moomaw. I need to go out there again some time.
Meanwhile, the Covington Wal-Mart is amusing. I think it’s perhaps the smallest Wal-Mart Supercenter I’ve ever seen. It’s also what I’d describe as a “transitional” store. On the outside, it looks like the older-style Supercenters, like Staunton. But on the inside, it’s just like the Dayton Wal-Mart, which is a newer-style Supercenter (the ones with “Always” over the entrances). But it’s painted gray inside like the older Supercenters. It’s also amusing about the signage. You know how practically every Wal-Mart says “Thank you for choosing your (city name) Wal-Mart”? Well, in Covington, over the Grocery entrance, it says, “Thank you for choosing your Covington Wal-Mart” (right over the doors, mind you, vs. over the cart area). Over the General Merchandise entrance, there’s nothing at all. My semi-humorous interpretation is, thanks for shopping at Wal-Mart if you’re buying groceries, but if you’re not, thanks for nothing. We realize that this is probably an omission rather than something done intentionally, but it’s amusing.
Categories: Arkansas, Lake Moomaw, Retail, Walmart
Tomorrow, my own personal hell will be over…
2 minute read
May 17, 2004, 10:44 PM
In case you’re wondering, since Saturday, I have been without my Previa after a brake pad fell off in the driveway. As a result, I have been without wheels, and have had to bum rides from the family to and from work. It SUCKS. See, my parents are using it as an excuse to bring up all the unpleasant topics they would like to bring up all the time, but can’t because I can leave. Now that I’m a captive audience, they used it as an opportunity to bring them up. Makes for a very long drive to Wal-Mart.
It’s best exemplified by this trip home from Wal-Mart, as said by Mom in the car: “So when are you going to lose some weight?”
Realize I’m not a fan of questions about weight in the first place, and I especially don’t give any weight to comments about it from Mom, since she seems to be obsessed with everything that goes into everyone’s bodies, and is obsessed with the appearance of everyone’s bodies.
These rides could be quite painless, and we could talk about fun things like my Web site, or Metro, or about whatever, but instead my parents bring up all the unpleasant topics. Not fun.
Categories: Family, Toyota Previa, Walmart
What a horrible dream…
< 1 minute read
May 16, 2004, 3:16 AM
This was quite a dream last night. For what seemed like ages, in my dream, I was constantly telling people to go to the registers, because the Service Desk was CLOSED for the night, and that I had no register in which to give refunds from, and that money transfers would not be available until the Service Desk opened. No telling why I was there in this dream (especially since I even acknowledged in the dream that I was in my bedroom at home), and for the customers to please GO AWAY!
I think this dream came from two things. One, yesterday was day six of an eight-day stretch without a day off. Secondly, yesterday was the day from hell at times, with it being Saturday, plus a number of people (one in particular) with a few screws loose.
And now I work the 7-4 at the Service Desk today. Hopefully today will make up for yesterday, plus I hope it makes up for that dream I had…